Admit it: there is some crazy stuff in the Bible — crazy cool, that is. But it seems like all the movies that are made from Bible stories are always about the same boring parts. So now’s your chance: what are the top five Bible stories you wish were made into movies?
Here’s my list:
5) Balaam’s Talking Donkey (Numbers 22) — Disney could easily adapt this tale of a talking donkey into their line of movies starring personified animals. The only difference being that this one supposedly actually happened.
4) Civil War in the Promised Land (Judges 19-21) — the Israelites are in the promised land. Everything should be good – but things go horribly awry when a religious man on a journey stops to rest for the night and the woman he is traveling with is raped and left for dead. The event leads to a civil war among the tribes of Israel, complete with ambushes and guerrilla warfare, before one of the tribes comes perilously close to being wiped out forever.
3) Jael and the Tent Stake (Judges 4) — Take one bad-a woman warrior, an oppressed people group, a snoozing commander of the enemy army, and a tent stake, and you have an instant classic on your hands. To add to it, the whole story is set against a backdrop of the Israelites being led into an epic war (by Deborah and Barak) against the dead guy’s army. I’d like to see the Mel Gibson Braveheart-esque version of this one.
2) Ehud and the Fat King (Judges 3) — A left handed warrior who sneaks a dagger into the palace of the enemy king because everyone thinks he’s right-handed… an oppressive and massively obese tyrant with a penchant for overindulgence… a stabbing done in secret, told in gruesome detail… the guards thinking the king was going to the bathroom, until they break in and discover the grisly scene… oh, yeah. We’re talking 300 meets Jack Bauer here. Total Frank Miller style awesomeness.
1) David, Jonathan, and Saul (1 Samuel) — Okay, really: I do not understand how no one has made this story into a movie yet. It has it all: undying friendship, sacrifice, war, romance, betrayal, and supernatural intervention. It’s tailor made for the big screen.
Okay, that’s my list. What’s yours?